well ok

i’m going to go swallow glass

absolutefunniestposts reblogged me once

sometimes life just be like

everything i post under the ‘liveblogging a shitty book’ tag is straight from the book, usually

this is all very real

what does the patent law treaty have to do with food ya dingus

i’ll lie in a bowl and let her pour dressing on me or whatever the fuck salad roleplay would entail but i’m not gonna like it no sir

thatS THE POINT

i am not a salad

i think dead master and i need to discuss our hard limits because i am not a cannibal

there’s no way in hootin heck i’m doing that without a fight, dead master or otherwise

concise and to the point. this is the best message i’ve ever received on tumblr. thank you.

wait what are you being serious right now? people actually think that there’s no shame in getting caught reading fifty shades??? 

JUST BECAUSE IT’S A BOOK DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS OF A FILTHY DEPRAVED TRAINWRECK